Code Black Trails


The sound of trains went roaring, soaring, searing her eardrums as she sits there wondering, who am I? what….am….I? WHERE AM I?
Is this the real life? Or is this just fantasy? The lyrics go haunting her mind over and over and over and over and…Oh! The madness…. It’s maddening?

Zoom….zap….……shoom.… WHAT IS THAT UNGODLY NOISE?

What is happening?

Dressed in her usual pale brown jacket, plaid shirt and boot cut denims, she was certain that she wasn’t entirely disoriented. Yet, something about herself and the situation around her seemed out of place. Her entire head was throbbing as if she had been stabbed right through with a sword. Migraines were absolutely out of the question. Heck! She rarely ever caught the flu.

Being this down and out, with an unstable memory left her utterly bewildered. She looked around for her mobile which was nowhere to be seen. Even her wallet was missing, making her even more worried and on the brink of insanity.

Suddenly, her mp3 player came to life and a heavy, gravelly voice blared out the lyrics to a Pink Floyd song, the one she could never listen to when sober, as it brought out the sensitive side in her. This face of hers, which she kept preciously hidden from the outside world, as she believed that being seen vulnerable, would invite unwanted threats to her life. Yet, here she was, helplessly listening to the same song, literally and metaphorically, comfortably numb.

The song was soon followed by a message addressed to her:

“Ahoy mate!

Quiet the cruise we had, I must say. Alas! I had to end our journey so early; though I am still sure you had a pleasant one? Oh well, how on earth would you remember? Fair enough for both of us. Hoping to never see you again.

Cheers to that!”


Are you ashamed of your flaws?

“Still waters run deep.”

Yes, they do.But, do you ever pause to think how they got their depth? Wont you like to know the backstory? The numerous trials which often times went on an infinite loop and left the bearer with anything even remotely tangible? Good day! What sort of a world are we living in? Airbrushed to perfection, not a flab there nor a fault here, picture perfect and raring on the go signal.No sir! We dont accept imperfections and waywardness.Be in the league or stay a wagabond.

Amazing, I must say.What have we really evolved into? 




The cyborg is not far away, and I doubt if the men of tomorrow would be any different from us.Since when did we stop accepting oueselves in our entirety? Who changed us? or rather I must ask Why did we ever change? 

Those spit filled kisses we used to give our reflections on the mirror have all but faded into pure oblivion.We are far far away from our innocent, childhood selves.

These days, it is hard, very hard to live with everything which we perceive to be wrong with our own selves which is only fuelled to magnanimous proportions by those glossy magazine models and ever so popular televised media.

Why dont we simply live with the fact that some things are better in their true copy as no amount of tinkering we do with it wont be enough.They say that you should wear your heart on your sleeves.Well, I say, wear your faults like an armour deflecting all that negativity from the outside world.Show them your true selves with all its imperfections and tell them to bring it down with their best shot.Little do they realise that you know yourself better than they ever will and you are your own end and beginning.

Can you fly with your feet on ground?

That daily routine of going to and from, hither to tither, drifting along with the crowd, mentally checking off our to-do lists and constantly worrying about what will happen next.Isnt this how we live our lives, simply conforming to the society, dressing to suit others aesthetic senses, adopting the mannerisms hammered to perfection by our parents, feeling the emotions conditioned by circumstances, knowing only the things which will be of our immediate use.Why do I feel that we are nothing but puppets in the hands of this conventional society where even a singular strand of hair out of place is firmly scowled upon.

But I firmly refuse to be restricted in my entire being, I firmly reject this supposedly rigid norms.You know why? Its my mind to applaud and blame at the same time.It refuses to stay at one place.It wants to soar with the wind, fly up above the clouds, swooning past the wide expanses of oceans, raring across the expanse of fields, amusing itself with the lush green of forests, the rainbow of colours seen from a valley of flowers.It wanders, loiters and gets ever so lost but yet so found.It yearns to travel to places unseen.To talk to random people on the way, know about their life, help those in need without even waiting for a kind word or two in return, It needs no address, no money, no obligations whatsoever.It depends on the co-operation of the catalysts present in the universe.The very same chain reaction propelled by a single act of kindness, which passes on and on to reach its final destination which inadvertently ends up being the initiator itself.

No end, no beginning, just life and living.Love and loving.

Dont we all atleast at some point of time have wanted to drift away from the hustle and bustle of our daily lives? Just put up our feet, let our hair down, and chill with some calming music? Even if for a momentary peace, why dont we allow ourselves to just be.Be present at the moment, listen to our heart and forget about all the clamouring that goes on inside ourselves.

It takes great courage to leave everything behind, all our possessions, all our near and dear ones and set off on the journey of a lifetime.With just the essentials, setting our foot down and going forward to take a leap of faith, not knowing where to begin, how to continue or even where it finally ends.But, once we make up our minds to play along with our wanderlust, there wont be anything holding us down.At that very instant, that very second, it will become crystal clear that whatsoever we considered to be our most priceless possessions are nothing but just some trinkets which are easily transient.We start to realise the importance of letting go of such delusions and start seeking our inner calm.Its a continuous process you see, and it certainly cannot be achieved in a day or two.Maybe a week, a month, or it could take years and years on end.You will start to notice yourselves completely metamorphising as you progress further and further ahead.One way to keep track of your journey is to jot down the changes you notice someplace safe.Once, when you notice that the changes have been increasing of late, leaf through your previous records and there you have it, the transformation you were longing for has been already underway.

It is hard, very hard to keep track and not loose our minds.As we age, these obligations and responsibilities keep on increasing.There would never be an end to it all.It will seem even more stressful and we even forget to yearn for a moment of calm.Its better to realise while we still can that its a short life and the choices we have are created by the very same circumstances we choose or discard.It is entirely upto us to bear with the consequences of our own choices.Have you truly lived your life if you don’t really have any regrets? Can we then bear in mind that the regeret of having never lived life on our own terms would never find a place on our list of regrets?

Free your spirit! Free your mind! Take heed of your heart and soul!

Fly up, up and away! 

The 2 minute guide to self love!

Just one more scoop. (Gosh! Where is my self control?)

You are too mean. (Oh no! Why did I say that?)

Yup, guilt trips are nothing new to us.More often than not, we unintentionally get trapped in this cycle of self blame which never seems to halt.Why do we find it so much appropriate and even more easy to blame ourselves than the rightful perpetrator? Why does it seem so satisfying yet so stressful all at the same time when we presume the blame to be just ours and ours alone?

Is there any theory? Any explanation?  Any singular hypothesis which would put to rest our overthinking, over analysing, falsely attributing, ever so fidgeting minds? Where is the elixir? Where is that fountain of truth? Where is that elusive antedote for our non chalancy? 

All the same, not all of us are akin to blame ourselves.In fact,it is commonly observed that those with a higher sense of self esteem tend to not take notice of their mistakes but rather find it invigorating to blame those who consider less of themselves.

Yes, acceptance of one’s own mistakes is but a natural process towards greater heights but it shouldn’t solely tie us down with the vice of overthinking.To err is but humane.It is better to not dwell on our blimeys but surge forward with the hopes of never repeating those errors.It wil be hard not to think about what we could had possibly done to make things a little better, a little more perfect and maybe a little more fitting to others expectations.But shouldnt we be mature enough to understand that all thats dead and gone and past is better left to their own devices rather than being dug up again and again to rot even further?

When was the last time you smiled when you fell down? When was the last time you forgave others saltiness? When was the last time you truly enjoyed that sticky sweet, heart warming, ever so cheerful morsel of all that is good in this world? And truly, when was the last time you left stuff to mend on their own, danced with the breeze and enjoyed a moment of calm?

Have you ever noticed kids? Well, if not, then I assure you the next time you observe a child, they might just teach you a lesson or two about life and how best to live it! They dont care if the sky is meant to be blue or trees are always green.They make their own rules and dont give two hoots about what others have to say, like their rainbow skies and bubblegum trees! They dont care about being pleasing to others when they spread their hands far and wide, sing their own looney tunes and sway themselves away to glory without a care in the world about who will judge them or not.They will croon and swoon to their very own best and maybe take you along on their joyride.Be like these kids, dont just drift through some collection of moments and call it a life but rather live each moment, cherish it, devour it and be always open to more and more experiences.

You never know what will hapoen at just the blink of your eye, dont just waste your life pitying your very existence but be thankful for your two hands, two legs, and march onto a more fulfilling life ahead!

Do you make these mistakes too?

“Vroom…..vroom…..vroom..…..”, Oh! There goes the Audi of my dreams, exclaimed Sam to himself.

“Hey, don’t be so sad over your marks.Let’s go shopping, you will feel much better” thus, two friends consoled each other.

“Oh, she got a new phone already? She barely used her old one for a month”, she thought to herself while scrolling through her friend’s newsfeed.

Looks familiar? Surely, it is.Little do we realise that we have already been slaves to the clutches of material possesssions.In all its entirety, we often fail to recognise the reasons and consequences of our actions and thoughts.Materialism comes in many shapes and sizes often fueled by our own deficiencies in deciding what we should ideally be valuing the most.

The latest fashion trends, the trendiest of vehicles, the most advanced of gadgets are what is being considered desirable over more grounded priorities like being compassionate, empathetic and doing our share to enrich others spiritual well being.

When we worship such worldly possessions, we are but inadvertently disobeying the very commandment of not having multiple Gods.”Happy are those who trust the Lord, who do not turn to idols or join those who worship false gods.”(Psalms:40).The thing with materialism is that it goes way back. Children are taught that their success and happiness in life is stated by how much stuff they have. Kids will normally want things… especially if their friends have them and so they are provided with those things within their parent/guardians financial abilities to do so.

The concept of “earning” something has been lost and replaced by the concept of “getting what you want without working for it”.

The society we live in have been rapidly modernised and immaterial values seldom find ample breathing space.When brought up in such an environment, it is but natual to fall prey to the enchantment of having many worldly goods.Our Christian faith is built upon the virtue of helping one another, loving one another and growing together in faith.The process of cultivating a humanitarian nature is much emphasised upon and held on utmost importance.

This cycle of wants keeps on propelling us forward on the path of destruction as once we attain the object of our desire, we start looking for something even better.We are never satisfied with what we have but are always in search of options.The most addictive aspect is that there is no dearth for such options as the market is always on the lookout for the consumer’s satisfaction.The marketing strategy used by the brands plays upon the very psychological makeup of the targeted consumers.Thus, we find it even more unavoidable to get swayed by the product’s features.More often, the shops use the “foot-in-door” method where they initially appeal for a smaller product and once the customer gives in, they put forth a bigger offer within the context of the previous one.In such situations, it has mostly been noticed that the individual gives in to the mindplay of the salesman.This is how we become victims and often end up buying things which we never really thought we needed.

If we go a little further, the picture becomes even more clear.It is seen that the individual very often falls prey to such schemes when they realise that they are lacking something in themselves.When we are stressed, anxious or feeling a little under the weather, it creates a void in ourselves which we want to complete with as many material happiness as we possibly can. 
Since, such replacements have a very short life span, we turn to buying even more to satisfy ourselves.What we fail to recognise is that such temporary fixes do not help us in the long run.We must inculcate the habit of examinig our actions from a deeper perspective on a daily basis.Why are we attracted to certain things? Why exactly are we buying this? Do I really need this at this point of time? If we see that the answer to the above questions are directed to more materialistic goals than inner growth, then we must take a step back and realise our mistakes before its too late.

When faced with conflicting situations and depressing conditions, we must always remember that there is one above who has plans for us and quite surely, they are plans for our prosperityand happiness alone.

When faced with difficult situations, it is always helpful to have a heart-to-heart conversation with friends, parents or any trusted person whom you know is always there to lend an ear.When such internal conflicts are resolved and put to rest, you will see that there will be a marked difference in your thought patterns and you will no longer find transient solace in material goods.Remember that in this worldly journey, trials and tribulations are but a natural obstacle as it makes us stronger in our spirutual growth.
There is not a power stronger than prayer.There is not a mountain unmovable by faith.There is nothing as vast as God’s love.

Thus, we should gain a strong foothold on our own selves and make sure that we don’t let our greed reign over us.We need to regulate our own actions and catch hold of anything that holds us tied down.So, now let us call it a truce with our material nature and get ready to vroom onto the road to eternal happiness!

An ode to the Evil Queen👑

Choose your poison! 

You,my dear,is surely begotten

Soon enough,you will be forgotten!

Lies it were,when the mirror said,

“Fairest of ’em all!”,well played,well played.

Your Father,the King,slave to my ambition

Taken,you were,to the forest so dark,

Ordered to be beheaded,lest you just lurk

Little did I know,Your skin as white as snow,

You were forsaken,for my dark intentions to awaken.

Snow White,That’s right!

Die,you will,with all my might.

Dressed as an old hag,lest my plans not lag

Choose your poison,my dear

Apples for you,Poisoned I knew

You took a bite,fell in deep slumber

You couldn’t have been any dumber!

Revenge atlast,Vengeance to everlast!

I am the Evil Queen,over a kingdom I forever reign

With dreams galore,Forever etched in folklore 

Shattered by your puny protectors,

Banished by those meddling defectors…

(P.S. This poem is written from the perspective of the evil queen)

A piece of my peace of mind🌊

Ahh…the cool breeze on my face….hair fluttering behind to the rhythm of the soft wind…my sundress doing an alluring dance to the beat of the wave…sand drifting through my feet in tune with the constant splash of the tide…
No wonder why I am in everlasting love with the sea!! Who could possibly detest this instant mood lifter? 

The calmness of the sea is in sharp contrast with the raging storm inside me,consuming my whole within its violent clutches,worries aside as I believe there is no amount of internal turmoil uncalmable by the sea.

Seeing the waves do an ancient form of hieroglyphic salsa enchants me to its beauty,the sky and the vast ocean blue coalescing into the most amazing scenery on Earth,beckoning my eyes to capture them in its entirety,absorbing every molecule of its iridescent presence.
See the sea….

Hear the sea….

Feel the sea….

Be one with the sea….

Heaven on Earth,accept me unto your loving hands,caress me,calm me and shield me from all treacheries!